It's beautiful, isn't it? The lyrics, what they mean? That just happens to be what I'm listening to at the moment, but that really encapsulates everything I am about to say in just a few words. It is the lesson the Lord has been teaching me this past year, and a lesson I hope I am understanding with more depth each and every day.
You see, that the Lord reigns -- and that he not only reigns, but loves US, should rock our worlds every single day!!! And, when we focus on the Lord and his glory, everything else changes. Life is all about Christ and his glory, and nothing else really matters.
With each passing day, I am more aware of eternity and more aware of how brief this life truly is compared to eternity. And because of that, I am slowly noticing my priorities shifting. Daily, hourly and more, the Lord is convicting me of how I am using my time and my resources. And slowly, God is giving me the grace to respond. That reminds me of a quote by C.S. Lewis, the great Christian thinker of the 20th century: "Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither." It's so true!
For, I realize a little more each day that this life is not my own -- I have died, and it is not I who live, but Christ who lives within me. I am reminded constantly that I have been redeemed at a high price. And though I could never adequately repay my Lord, I owe him everything. The money I make, the field I study, the career I intend to pursue, the friendships, the relationships on this earth -- everything.
Surrender, unfortunately, is not preached often enough in our churches. We want to give God just enough so that we can make a difference in the world, just enough so that we can feel better about ourselves. We want to give God most areas of our life, but good heavens, not everything. We are afraid to let go of our families, to trust the Lord to take care of them. We are afraid to truly surrender our finances, for we need to be "wise" with our money, right? We are afraid to surrender relationships in our lives because for some reason, we think that's one area God can't handle.
This year, God in his mercy has helped me to refocus. To refocus on the Author of Life himself, who can pen a story far greater than I ever could for my feeble life. How could I have ever thought I simply needed God's help in life? God forgive me -- I need him to consume my life! All of me, not just part of me!
Slowly, I am learning what it means to surrender, to truly surrender to what the Lord has for my life. One by one, God has revealed to me the things I have placed before him, the idols I have made. He has shown me that academics mean nothing, apart from him. He has shown me that a career feels worthless when he is not absolutely at the core of it, infiltrating every single moment. I was so stubborn that he had to strip away so many things in life that I thought meant everything to show me that he is all I have ever needed and all I will ever need. And when I am truly surrendered to his will, there is life at its fullest. Never have I known so much pain, nor so much joy as I have this past year. For, never have I so realized the depths of my own sin, and never have I so realized the vastness of the Lord's mercy.
The Lord in his grace has brought me to a point where I can truly say that I want what the Lord wants for my life. If that means moving to a different country to work in an orphanage, I will go! If that means pursuing journalism in New York, I will go! If that means working at an old people's home all my life, I will go! If that means being single my whole life, I will, and with joy!
The modern church seems to be missing the message -- the Christian life is not about us, but it is about Christ and his glory! This life is not about our happiness. No, this life is about His glory, and laying our lives down at his feet. That doesn't mean that the Christian life is miserable. No! Indeed, it is the most exciting one imaginable. Does that mean it is easy? No! That means it is joyful. That's the odd thing about the Christian life -- the more you give up, the more you truly have.
This post, I realize, isn't the most organized thing. Oftentimes, when I think about the Lord and how merciful he is, I just get so excited I forget that others can't see my thought process the way I do. :)
The Holy Spirit is giving me a vision for what it looks like to have him completely at the center of everything, and it is a humbling, painful, incredible, joyful process. Humbling and painful because I am so acutely aware of my shortcomings, and incredible and joyful because I have never so experienced his grace or comprehended his greatness. And I think you do need both that pain and joy. For, how can you comprehend the beauty of grace if we do not comprehend the gravity of our sin? But of course we do not dwell on our sin, for that would be wasting the most precious gift of all -- life, which we do not deserve!! So glory, glory, hallelujah, for he reigns, and will forevermore!!!!!
Three books that have inspired me this year (well, the top four -- there are many others):
Your God is too Small, J.B. Phillips
Sacred Singleness, Leslie Ludy
Don't Waste Your Life, John Piper
The Cross-Centered Life, C.J. Mahaney
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