Sitting in class. Waiting for Dr. Longinow to arrive.

Just felt like writing.

Nothing profound on my mind right now.

Except that I've slipped back into confusion. Not sure what to do.

Uncertainty plagues me.

But in this I am sure -- that the Lord of the Universe is the Lord of my life.

So what need have I to worry and fret?

God is not done, is not finished with me yet.

More reminders that -- shockingly -- life is NOT about me! :)

As I've mentioned, I'm learning -- though a slow process it may be -- to stop to take time for people.

It's funny, the way the Lord uses you when you're actually open to it.

Today, I had the privilege of -- I hope -- impacting in some small way the lives of two precious women God put on my heart.

The first is Anne. I met Anne this afternoon at Panera, where a friend and I were studying. One of the girls who lived on my floor last year came over and asked if I would join her in talking to this woman, engrossed in her book with a shawl wrapped neatly around her neck. Not quite sure what we were doing, we decided to approach her as if we were taking a survey for a class. 

Those questions led to a conversation, in which this dear woman, tears nearly filling her eyes, told us she'd thought about heaven much more in the last month.

Last month, cancer took the life of her 8-year-old niece.

I felt as if I could cry too. I'd just met this woman. And yet, my heart ached for her. I wanted to convey to her just how much she is loved by our Lord. Just how much there is hope. Through Christ. 

And so I had the privilege of praying for her, right there at Panera. 

I don't think I'll ever forget Anne's face. 

Her eyes.

Her brokenness.

I pray that the Lord would use that conversation, that prayer, to remind her that she is loved.

That she isn't alone.

Then, just this evening, the Lord brought someone else into my life. 

Rebekah.

I've seen Rebekah before. Dozens of times. Sitting curled up in one of the comfy chairs in Commons, her back to the window.  

Oh yes, I've seen Rebekah. But then again, I haven't.

Not until tonight. 

I always saw her for her tattered appearance -- the unkempt hair, the filled backpack, the cheap clothes. 

God forgive me.

But tonight, I spoke with her. And as I did, I began to see her for who she truly is -- a lovely daughter of the King of Kings.

Rebekah is somewhat new in town. A grad student, she moved to La Mirada just this August to pursue her teaching degree. I felt the pain in her voice as she described her distant relationship with her brother, Josiah, who doesn't know the Lord. I felt her sorrow as she described how difficult it is to connect with people here. I sympathized with her when she explained that she comes to the coffee shop often, but rarely buys anything because even the cheap coffee is too much to afford on her very part-time salary.

As we talked, I could tell how grateful she was -- just to have someone to talk to. Someone who would take an interest in her. In her life. 

Now, I write not to say "Look at me -- I'm such a great Christian!"

Ha, that's laughable. On the contrary, I'm a despicable excuse for a follower of Christ. 

And yet, God used me, I think, today, to impact somehow the lives of two people He cares very much about.

I had a bit of a disappointment tonight. To be honest, I wanted to cry. 

But I was reminded just then that life isn't about me. So what if I face disappointment. So what if people let me down.

As long as I am being faithful to my Savior -- as long as I am allowing Him to use me, making time for Him to use me -- who the heck cares. :)

Now, off to finish studying for that quiz. 

Then sleep.

Night. :)